HOME

I'm sorry it's been so long since I last updated on here. It's been a very busy last few days and at times I feel a little overwhelmed.

From the title you maybe have figured out that yes, I'm HOME! There was a chain of events that happened between Tuesday night and Wednesday that can only be described as God's work that I honestly didn't dare to "talk" about until I KNEW they would happen. I guess I was nervous that if I talked about it, then maybe it wouldn't happen. In a way, I feel like that was me doubting God's ability. But I think it was also me being realistic that it wasn't my choice.

Tuesday night some girls from my bible study came to visit. Soon after they came in, Dr. Foster, the general surgeon who performed the last surgery in GR to clean up the wound one more time, stepped in to say hi and bring his cheer. He's a great guy; small, peppy, honest, kind, funny, and determined. I had just finished telling the girls that Keaton was possibly going to be going home on Wednesday. Dr. F walked in, said hi to the girls, cracked a few jokes, and asked if I thought it was time to go home. Of course! I asked him what he was thinking...just testing the waters...and his reply, "How about tomorrow?" WHAT?!?! Wednesday? That could only be the work of our Lord! He would never know that Keaton was going home on Wednesday and how he was just so confident and honest and just said it so simply. Oh, how the tears fell! I think the girls were just as surprised (am I right girls?). Wow! But I knew that was a whole day away yet and it just seemed that they would have so much to do before I could go home (don't ask me what, but I've kinda learned that sometimes hospitals move a little slow).

So I went through the night, wondering if I would be able to go home on Wednesday. I didn't want to get my hopes up. Went through another night of no fevers (PTL!) and woke up to the same docs coming in to check up on me (5am is sooooo early when you don't sleep all night!). Dr. Foster came in pretty early, I can't remember the time, and said it again..."Are you ready to go home today?" So he was serious! This was real?? He said they could send me home on oral antibiotics that match the ones they were giving me through my IV, my home health nurse could take care of my vac change on Friday (that was pretty easy to set up), and my fever and the redness surrounding the area of my wound were either gone or disappearing, which he said basically means that I was on the mend...why keep me in the hospital?? OH PRAISE THE LORD!! I could go home and join Kevin in discharging Keaton and we could be a family again! The tears came again and I thanked him and told him how God had blessed this, which he agreed to (did I mention how God has shown up through everyone??). So the next step was to get things rolling to get me out of there.

It took a while before a nurse came in to check in on me and I asked her if she knew if I was going to be discharged yet today...and in walks frustration...she said that the nurses disagreed with Dr. F because of my vac change on Tuesday (remember how I had been put to sleep for it? yeah, they didn't think I could handle the Friday change at home and wanted me to stay for that, just for a vac change??). I was instantly frustrated and thought, seriously, you're going to keep me here just for a vac change? I can do this at home! I can be strong for this! I have to because it's going to happen 3 days a week until I heal and I KNOW they can't put me out at home...I can be strong! Please let me go home! (So I didn't yell those out, but that's what I was thinking!). Thankfully, I had a friend who was there during Dr. F and the nurse's contradictory visits and she really helped me mentally through it, I was frustrated (thank you Heather!). Well, long story short, eventually, the papers came in and the nurses lost and I got to go home. It took a while, of course but Kevin and I were driving out of GR at 5:30pm and heading to Zeeland to drop off some things, pick up some things for Keaton and headed to Boven to see our little man!

We went through all the discharge procedures and even though it was late, we were home by 9:30pm and so excited to be together again! Oh Lord, how you blessed that reunion! I had no idea that that would have happened, and was honestly planning on hosting Thanksgiving in one of the conference rooms in Spectrum with my Hospers family around me...but I was able to go home all because of a doctor who knew that I was healing, believed that I needed to be with my family, and I honestly believe God's powerful hand guided it too! What a gift!

So, I should really summarize what's happened over the last week now...my parents arrived with the girls on Thursday night along with my brother, his fiance (yeah!!! so excited for another Hospers sister!), my younger sister, and my twin and her two kids. Our house was packed, the girls ran in and oh did the tears flow...again such a blessing! So thankful for the innocence of little kids. They only saw the tears and asked what was wrong, to which we replied that we just simply missed them and were so happy they were home. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner brought to our home on Friday by our amazing friends in our church small group (Thanks again everyone! It was DELICIOUS!) and just enjoyed spending time together in our small little house (now we're even more inspired in the fact that we have to move to a bigger house!). Everyone, except my parents, left Saturday morning. My parents have stayed here to help with the kids and just life in general so that I can rest and heal accordingly.

I should also mention that yes, I had another vac change on Friday. The only thing I can take before it is vicodin to take the edge off, which works to some degree. A lot of people ask, "Does it hurt?" Yes, it hurts. A lot of people also don't quite understand what it is that I have come home with. After my last 2 surgeries, Dr. H (and then Dr. F cleaned up a little more) cut away the skin that had died and showed signs of infection by whatever it was that was infecting me. Do we know what it was? No, and never will. The cultures that they all tried to grow from the bacteria were inconclusive due to the fact that the antibiotics killed whatever it was that was growing and caused the infection. What they had to do was cut away 17 1/2 cm by 8 cm (and maybe 1 cm deep) of skin from my lower right abdomen. Is it pretty? No. Do you see it? No. It's covered by a black sponge that has a hose connected to it and is then connected to a machine in a bag that I can wear as a fanny pack (yeah, I know, stylish) or carry as a purse, which is what I do around the house. The sponge is taped quite well to my stomach so that it stays in place. When the machine is turned on, the sponge contracts and is constantly draining the wound into the vac in the bag where it collects the drainage. It's constantly working the wound to keep the blood flow going and keeping it clean. This is one of the most effective ways to heal an open wound, and I've been told by several doctors and nurses that my healing time probably triples by having this vac attached to me. Does it hurt? Sometimes it stings, but it's getting better. Do the vac changes hurt? Yes, but I've had an amazing home nurse who's gentle, understanding, patient, and caring, and has really been such a blessing to help me through the first few changes. I just concentrate on other things, we talk about whatever we can, and I take deep breaths and work through it. The first couple weeks will be hard, but as the wound heals, it will get easier. It has to heal from the inside out, and as it heals, they'll have to cover less and less of it with the sponge and eventually I won't have to have the vac on at all.

Now the biggest question is will this cause a scar. Yes. A considerable one. But this is the least of my worries, and as I look at it now, I see the scar as more of a reminder of how precious life is and how my Lord brought us through this time in our lives. Eventually I may have skin grafting done, but to be honest, I'm not worried about showing people my belly. I told the docs that I never was much of a two piece bikini wearing girl and that there are lots of cute tankini's now. They kinda smiled and seemed a little surprised that I wasn't worried about it. I guess that's just not something I'm concerned about. I just want this to heal and then be able to take care of my family like normal again.

So there you have it...that's where we've been at for the last week. It's been emotional, frustrating, exciting, and full of only the blessings that God can give. Keaton is doing great. Eating like a champ and growing like one too. It's a little hard to be raising a newborn and having to heal attached to a hose and machine, but I'm so thankful for my parents that I can ask to feed him so that I can go back to sleep. I do get tired if I'm up too much and I can't move very quickly because of the soreness factor, but I just take lots of naps and rest when I can.

I have my first recheck appointment tomorrow with Dr. H. I look forward to seeing him again and thanking him. I'm sure tears will fall. He was so concerned about me and I know that he wanted to do all he could to see that I was healed. What a gifted doctor he is! God gave him a gift and any patient he comes in contact with is blessed to be able to witness what that gift is.

I'll continue to update this blog as best I can. I haven't been the best at it due to the busyness of the weekend with family here and then trying to get on top of the pain, rest, and "regular" routine of being home again. I'm so thankful for so many people who want to keep up on how I'm doing and offering up prayers of healing to our God. He has brought us this far and I know that he continues to strengthen me and my family. The girls are doing great being back home and like I said before, I'm thankful for my parent's and the help they are offering each day. The Lord is faithful!