Again, I let a week go by. I guess I can make the excuse that I have a newborn at home, yet I can't make that excuse because I also have 2 babysitters who hang out with me all day. We kind of let our day pass us by, and before we know it, it's after school and the girls are home and it gets a little busier around here. So I just don't make blogging my priority right now, but I know most of you check facebook (my guiltiest pleasure) and I do little updates on there too. So if you don't check facebook, I apologize! If you do, this will be a little more detailed (or in my case, A LOT more detailed-not so good at keeping it short!).
So this really was a normal week. My vac changes were on Tues/Thurs/Sat this week because I had an appointment with my wound doctor in GR. Let's call him Dr. H. My dad drove me there because I still don't feel comfortable to not take vicadin before my changes and I'm not supposed to drive when I'm on it. It doesn't affect me that much, but you never know, I suppose. My appointment went really well. It was so nice to see him again (very kind man). A nurse took the sponge off, then Dr. H came in and assessed my wound. He measured it, poked at it, and talked to me about it. He really didn't say much other than I would have to have my vac on until after Christmas-duh-and that I should come back in 3 weeks (Jan. 4). He said it looked good, was shrinking nicely and that's about it. He didn't bring up my ever pressing question: When will I need a skin graft? So, as he was making his way towards the door, I asked.
He started it off with, "Well, you do have 2 options. You can have a skin graft or you can let the skin heal together on it's own." He then proceeded to go through a list of things that a skin graft would cause: another wound site to heal (probably on my inner thigh), I would always have a square scar (scars are the least of my concerns), the skin graft on my stomach would probably not look the same and always be a little sensitive to light. WHEREAS, if I did not do the graft, I would still only have one site to have heal, and he feels like it won't scar as seriously as they had originally thought.
SO, how did I feel about this? Honestly, I have been laying awake at night after feeding Keaton and wondering if I really want this skin graft. The thing that has worried me the most is having another surgery, and another site to heal. My built-in babysitters will be leaving soon (and I know there are many others who would love to help, but it's still hard to get that all organized). And I just want to be a mom and heal. I don't want to have another surgery and I don't want to have another wound. I had already talked to my family about how my number one concern was having 2 wounds, and when my mom heard what Dr. H had said about the graft, she said, "Well, then you got your answer, right?"
I basically don't know how long it will take for my wound to heal all the way. Eventually, this vac will come off because there won't be any place for the sponge to go. But my skin will NOT be completely closed around the tissue. Then I will need to wear dressings to protect it as my skin slowly comes together. Yes, it may be a while. Yes, a skin graft will probably heal it quicker, but do I want to have another wound? Not really. Do I care if I have scars...NO! That has been the least of my concerns since I had all this happen. All the doctors have looked at me like I was crazy, but honestly, I'm not a bikini wearing girl, and where this wound is located is not a place I would show to the general public anyway.:) I just want it to heal.
So this is my prayer: that God will give me a clear direction and peace with my decision. I am so thankful to be healthy and just simply healing. Carrying around the bag hasn't been so bad, and I've slowly been doing more around the house and outside of the house (Kevin and I even went out to do our Christmas shopping and dinner on Saturday). I do still get tired and sore when I do too much, and sometimes knowing what too much is is hard, but then I take it easy for a couple days and take some ibuprofen and feel better in no time.
God has continued to keep his promise to stay with us as He does even when times are not tough. We are happy to have our whole family together and happy that progress continues to happen. We just keep praying that this continues in the right direction. Praising God for his faithfulness...